Tales from the Lands of Nuts and Grapes: Spanish and Portuguese Folklore by Carlos Sellers: The wicked king (Spanish-Portuguese tale?)

THE WICKED KING.

THERE was once a king who was so wicked that he would not allow any widows to live in his kingdom, because he was certain that they had caused the death of their husbands; nor would he admit of any fat man or woman, as he was afraid that they would eat up everything in the kingdom.

He was also very proud and arrogant, and if any man happened to be taller than himself, he would give him the choice of being lowered to a proper height by either having his head or his legs cut off.

His subjects were so afraid of him and of his laws, that the married women would not let their husbands go out of their sight, lest any harm should happen to them, and if they turned at all pale, or had broken sleep, or had lost their appetites, they would nurse them night and day. So afraid were they of becoming 
widows that they always agreed with their husbands on all points, lest by disagreeing they should bring about an attack of indigestion, or something worse that might produce death.

And when their children commenced to grow rapidly, their fears were doubled lest they should become taller than the king; for if they fed them on pudding, which does not promote growth, they incurred the danger of their becoming fat; and if they fed them on meat, so as to make them lean, they would probably grow tall.

It very soon became evident that there were more hunchbacks in that country than in any other; for as soon as the children were approaching the forbidden height, their parents would suspend heavy weights from their shoulders, so that their backs became rounded and eventually humped.

The young men, when they were at an age to marry, found it very difficult to get any woman to have them, because they were afraid of becoming widows, and also because so many of the men were humpbacked.

But, notwithstanding the king’s wickedness, it was admitted by the married men that their condition had considerably improved.

There was a wide road made round the cities and towns, on which all who were inclined to be stout, both men and women, would run until they were out of breath, and jump over hurdles; and there were so many of these people that the revenues of the Church commenced to suffer, owing to the decreased demand for “bulls,” as they willingly imposed long fasts on themselves.

Now, in the chief city of this country there was a very wise man, well versed in the law and in concocting drugs, for he was the public executioner and the chemist of the place. To him, therefore, went a deputation of the people to lay their grievances before him; and after the spokesman had finished what he had to say, the executioner looked very wise, and, after considering awhile, he said—

“Our king’s predecessor was held to be just and generous because he allowed every man to retain a fifth of his produce for the maintenance of his family, and the tax he imposed on this fifth part was always readily paid.” Here he touched the edge of his sharp axe and smiled; and the deputation exclaimed—

“Quite right; so it was.”

“Now, the present king,” continued the wise 
man, again feeling the edge of his axe, “has magnanimously increased your loyal tribute to him by one part in a hundred of the produce of the land, and yet you are not satisfied!”

“The king’s generosity we all feel,” said the deputation; “but, if we may be allowed to express an opinion to you, sir, we would——”

“Certainly you may,” interrupted the man of drugs, running his hand quickly over the axe—“certainly you may; why should you not?”

By this time the chief spokesman had got behind the others, and it was very evident that the members of the deputation were becoming aware that the logic of the executioner was too sharp for them.

Seeing that they were all silent, the executioner went on to say that the king had, in his opinion, been extremely considerate; for he had, by the law against widows, contributed to the happiness and long life of the husbands; and, by enacting that no man should exceed a certain height or stoutness, they had economized in many ways, for they ate less, and their clothes would cost them less. In fact, he saw no reason for dissatisfaction; but as they had come to him as a deputation, he felt it to be his duty to place their supposed grievances before 
the king, and he, the executioner, felt certain that the king would reply to them in a suitable manner. And having said this he raised the axe to the light to see that there was no notch on the edge, which caused the deputation to tremble most violently, and to assure the executioner that they were perfectly satisfied, and desired to withdraw.

The executioner, however, would not allow them to retire—for the grievances of a people should not be withheld from the king’s ear; but the members of the deputation became so frightened that they made their escape through the windows as fast as they could. And when the king heard all about it he remarked that “Folly had entered with dignity by the door, and Wisdom had unceremoniously escaped through the window.” 

O REI MALVADO.

HAVIA uma vez um rei que era tão malvado que ele não permitia quaisquer viúvas viver no seu reino, porque estava certo que tinham causado a morte dos maridos; nem admitia ele quaisquer homem ou mulher gordos, como tinha medo que fossem comer lá tudo no reino.

Era também muito orgulhoso e arrogante, e se algum homem lhe acontecesse ser mais alto que ele próprio, dar-lhe-ia a escolha de ser baixado a uma altura apropriada ao ou ter a cabeça ou as pernas cortadas.

Os seus súbditos tinham tanto medo dele e das suas leis, que as mulheres casadas não iam deixar seus maridos sair da vista delas, não fora qualquer dano acontecer a eles, e se virassem todos pálidos, ou tivessem sono interrompido, ou tivessem perdido seus apetites, elas iam nutri-los noite e dia. Tão assustados estavam de se tornarem viúvas que sempre concordavam com seus maridos em todos os pontos, não fora por discordarem que devessem trazer um ataque de indigestão, ou algo pior que pudesse produzir morte.

E quando suas crianças começavam a crescer rapidamente, seus medos eram dobrados não fora tornarem-se mais altas que o rei; porque que se as alimentassem a pudim, o qual não promove crescimento, elas incorriam o perigo do seu se tornarem em gordas; e se as alimentassem a carne, para assim fazê-las finas, iam provavelmente crescer a ser altas.

Muito em breve tornou-se evidente que havia mais corcundas naquele país do que em qualquer outro; porque assim que as crianças estavam a aproximar-se da altura proibida, os pais delas iam suspender pesos pesados dos ombros delas, para que assim suas costas se tornassem arredondadas e eventualmente corcovassem.

Os jovens, quando eram de uma idade para casar, achavam-no muito difícil conseguir alguma mulher que os tivesse, porque elas tinham medo de tornar-se viúvas, e também porque tantos homens eram corcovados.

Mas, não obstante a malvadez do rei, era admitido pelos homens casados que sua condição tinha melhorado consideravelmente.

Havia uma estrada larda à roda das cidades e vilas, na qual todos os que eram inclinados a serem entroncados, ambos homens e mulheres, ficavam-se sem fôlego, e saltam sobre obstáculos; e havia tantas destas pessoas que as receitas da Igreja principiavam a sofrer, devendo à procura decrescida por "bulas", visto que eles voluntariamente impunham-se longos jejuns sobre si mesmos.

Agora, na cidade mestra deste país havia um homem muito sábio, bem versado na lei e a magicar drogas, pelo que era o executor público e o químico do lugar. A ele, portanto, foi uma representação de pessoas a deitar-lhe seus agravos ante ele; e depois do porta-voz ter acabado o que tinha a dizer, o executor pareceu muito sábio, e, depois de considerar por um pouco, disse—

“O predecessor de nosso rei era tido como sendo justo e generoso porque permitiu a cada homem reter um quinto do seu produzir para a manutenção da sua família, e o imposto que impôs sobre esta quinta parte era sempre prontamente pago.” Aqui ele tocou o gume do seu machado afiado e sorriu; e a representação exclamou—

“Bem certo; assim era.”

“Agora, o rei do presente,” continuou o sábio, de novo sentindo o gume do seu machado, “tem magnanimamente aumentado vosso tributo leal a ele por uma parte em cem do produzir da terra, e todavia não estais satisfeitos!”

“A generosidade do rei todos sentimos,” disse a representação; “mas se puder ser-nos permitido exprimir uma opinião a si, meu dom, nós iríamos——”

“Certamente que podem,” interrompeu o homem das drogas, calcorreando sua mão rápido sobre o machado—“certamente que podem; porque não deveriam?”

Por esta altura o chefe porta-voz tinha ficado para trás dos outros, e era muito evidente que os membros da representação estavam a tornar-se conscientes que a lógica do executor era afiada demais para eles.

Vendo que estavam todos silenciosos, o executor foi adiante dizendo que o rei tinha, na sua opinião, sido extremamente considerado; porque tinha, pela lei contra as viúvas, contribuído para a felicidade e vida longa dos maridos; e, o encetar que nenhum homem deve-se exceder uma certa altura ou robustez, eles têm economizado em muitas maneiras, porque comiam menos, e suas roupas iam custar-lhes menos. De facto, não via razão para insatisfação; mas como tinham vindo a ele como representação, sentiu-o como sendo o seu dever colocar seus supostos agravos ante o rei, e ele, o executor, sentiu-se certo que o rei iria responder-lhes numa maneira apropriada. E tendo dito isto ergueu o machado à luz para ver que não havia nenhum entalhe no gume, o qual causava à representação que tremesse o mais violentamente, e assegurar ao executor que estavam perfeitamente satisfeitos, e desejavam retirar-se.

O executor, todavia, não lhes permitiria retirarem-se—porque os agravos de um povo deviam não ser retidos do ouvido do rei; mas os membros da representação tornaram-se tão assustados que fizeram sua evasão através das janelas tão depressa como podiam. E quando o rei ouviu tudo sobre isso declarou que “Tolice entrara com dignidade pela porta, e Sabedoria tinha sem-cerimónias se evadido pela janela.”